Naive Not Stupid
by The Anonymous Coward
Summary: Perhaps Syaoran isn't the only one not talking, and perhaps Sakura knows a bit more than she's letting on... and maybe while they're running around hiding from each other they just might smack into each other. SxS, Ch. 2 up, ratings bump for language.
1. Pulling Together

_Disclaimer – as if anyone would expect otherwise, Tsubasa and related materials are not mine, they're the property of CLAMP. If they were mine, the grand finale would feature a drop-down drag-out battle to the death between the true grudge match of the series – Kurogane and Makona. My money is on Makona._

**Naive – Not Stupid**

In the single dim light in the quiet room, pen scratched against paper deftly.

_Hi, my name is Sakura. I'm sixteen years old, the princess of a kingdom in another dimension, and I like long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. _

_Wasn't all that funny, was it? I never really got the hang of that. Sarcasm, I mean. Never really was my forte. In a lot of ways I was never really good with humor. A lot of humor really needs that you've got some vicious edge, and... well. I can't say that's really in my nature. Some kind of say that I'm naive, and they're probably right. _

_That doesn't mean I'm stupid, though. _

_That doesn't mean that I don't catch the way that Syaoran's always looking at me. That doesn't mean that I don't get that look in the corner of his eye. That odd little pitch he gets in his voice whenever I'm in trouble or kidnapped or whatever mess I've managed to get myself into. Or for that matter, the way my heart skips a beat whenever he pays attention to me as more than my guardian. _

_I also don't miss the fact that every time I summon up the courage to actually ask Syaoran about this, the next thing I clearly remember is waking up a few minutes later, usually in his arms. While that really isn't too bad - I've gotten used to passing out by now, really, and there's a lot of things that're worse than waking up with him - after it happened a few times, I think I can guess what happened. __I know Syaoran was from my world. I know Syaoran knew who I was. Not that that was too hard - if we were from the same kingdom, he'd almost certainly know who the only princess in the entire country was. And I can guess a few more things, as well. _

_Do you know that once, there was an assassination attempt on me? It was when I was five... I think, my memories... well. It turned out to be someone from a neighboring kingdom that was trying to start a war. My brother... well, I was too young to think of it at the time, but I think I know what happened to him, and those he was following. I can't say I'd ask for it, even if he DID try to kill me. My brother's a king, though, and he has a hard time running an entire kingdom, especially when father's death left him in charge so early on, so I try not to judge him too harshly. He IS my brother, after all, and he'd just ended up in a position of great power at the time. _

_But that's not the point here. The point is, my guards. I saw them as they were defending me. There was something in their eyes, their facial expressions, their overall demeanor. They were stoic. Resolute. Fearless. Loyal. _ _Syaoran has all of these things, but something else was in them, as well. _

_Desperation. As though he were defending the other half of his soul, as if he were defending something not just more important to his life as a bodyguard would regard his charge... but more as a lover might. _ _And I know that that didn't just happen somehow in the time it took for me to wake up the first time with no memories. _

_And maybe that itself wouldn't be enough to be convincing. After all, maybe he's just extremely loyal... but there's more to it than that, even though the way he protects me, he never gives up on me, and is pretty much willing to spend night and day with me is plenty of proof. It's me. I can't say that I'm in love with him for sure - my memories are too muddled for that. But if it isn't, then I'll be surprised. I know this feeling I've got for him didn't just happen overnight, either. It isn't just a crush. I... think I've had those, once or twice, when I was very, very young. This is... this is different. As if I known him all my life. I can read him like a book. Ever since I first laid eyes on him with this patchwork memory of mine, I've trusted him more than anyone else. Even with my memories, with my elder brother, as much as I love him... Syaoran somehow pushes even him out. I can practically finish his sentences sometimes. I can honestly say I don't know what I'd do without him, other than it wouldn't be good. And truth be told I get more than a little worried about him a lot of the time... and the rest of the time I'm a lot worried. It... just isn't right, that someone like him should be like this, so young, over me, no less... especially if we just met. _

_And I can say pretty easily say that if there wasn't anything there... I wouldn't be drawn to him like I am._

_Perhaps alone, all the pieces don't mean much, but together, hundreds of them? There's something there. Maybe in some fairy tale, a princess would sit there and just ignore all of it, but this isn't a fairy tale, and as much as I end up playing the damsel in distress whether I like to or not, I'm not about to just say it's a coincidence. _

_I can't quite put it into words. I can't. There's something stopping me. Something just at the edge of my consciousness, as though it's warning me. Something... I don't know about happened. Something ELSE happened that for some reason nobody is telling me about. Probably for the same reason that I can't directly think about... this. Hopefully I'll find out soon - every time I get a feather back, it gets a little bit easier. _

_But that's why I do what I do. I don't directly address it with Syaoran. Not because I don't want to. But because I can't. But that doesn't mean I don't know what he was to me. Or what he is to me. _

_He still is. THAT is a lot easier for me to figure out... but I have to do this carefully. I have to do this right. For both our sakes. I don't know what's triggering... whatever it is, but if it's dangerous to either of us, I have to find a way around it somehow. Like I said before, I'm not stupid, and I'm not so stupid as to charge in to this head-first, and never mind the consequences. This is too important for that, and I don't think I could bear the thought of causing him harm through this somehow. And I don't want to be wrong - until I have my memories back, or I'm otherwise absolutely certain, I don't want to risk it. I don't know if my heart could take it. I'm close. But not yet. _

_I don't know what's happening. I don't know why I can't remember it. But I think I know what Syaoran was to me, and hopefully what he is and will be to me. And even if I never do remember just what happened... that's alright. _ _If I had to trade my memories of him to have a life with him, I'd do it a hundred times over. He's worth more than just a few memories to me. _

Sakura looked over the piece of paper before her as she sat in the quiet hotel room that she shared with Syaoran. Kurogane and Fai were likely bar hopping, taking Makona with them. Silently she suspected Fai was doing this to further drive Kurogane crazy. It seemed to almost be a sport for him. She questioned both the kindness and wisdom of such, but then again, Fai never did seem to reason exactly as everyone else did.

Fortunately for her, she'd been good at her writing lessons, and royalty received a good deal more practice with it than the regular folk - at least, she thinks that's how it worked. Eyes skimming over the parchment, a strange white one with light blue lines for some reason she can't fathom, she looked at what she'd written one more time. Perhaps a bit more - or less - poetic than she'd thought, but she vaguely recalled being either very good or very bad at this sort of prose back in school. No matter; this was, really, for her eyes only. And maybe someone else's, but not right now.

Everything in it, she knew, but that... THING... whatever it was, kept on trying to strangle it out of her. It wasn't, however, complete, and slowly but surely, she knew, she was fighting it back. She didn't know how far she could push it back, but she'd gladly keep on soldiering for the brown-haired boy that'd saved her so many times. Her hunch, it seemed, proved correct - much as taking notes on something helped you remember the details, so too did writing help her articulate what was going on. Naturally, she couldn't defeat it - at least, not yet - but in this little chess game she seemed to be playing, she managed to get a bit of an advantage. And although she felt silly writing this out as she did, she cannot deny that it helped, at least to some extent.

The door slammed behind her, startling her out of her thoughts and writings. Syaoran, back from getting dinner. Something called 'Chinese take-out' that they'd both grown fond of in the week or so they'd been on this strange world.

"I've got the food, Princess," said the archaeologist as he came in the door, kicking it shut behind him, both hands carrying rather large bags - grocery bags, as she'd seen them on other worlds. Though not heavy they could be awkward. Apparently he'd gotten enough for Kurogane, Fai and Makona, if they're hungry when they get back, and likely something to start with for breakfast as well.

"You got a lot," Sakura observed as she stood up to walk over to help him - hesitating for only a second to pick up the paper, fold it neatly, and place it in her pocket.

"Writing?" Syaoran asked, brow quirking as Sakura relieved him of one of the bags, helping him to haul it over to the small hotel room table. Sakura nodded.

Syaoran clearly wanted to know more - somehow she could read him like a book sometimes - but she headed him off at the pass. "It served it's purpose, though. I'll tell you about it sometime. I promise."

Syaoran looked vaguely befuddled at this, but accepted it, with a nod.

"Syaoran?" Sakura asked, pondering things for a moment as she pulled things out of the grocery bag.

"Hm? Yes, Princess?"

She'd been waiting to ask him this for a while. She'd never really managed to convince herself to before, but now, it felt... right. She suspected it had something to do with what she'd just written... and whatever bond she may have with the boy that she can't remember. A faint smile crossed her face as she spoke. "...could you call me Sakura?"

And for the rest of the night, Syaoran was somewhere between confusion and elation.

_Comments, criticisms, flames? That's what the review button is for. This is the first fanfic that I've had the guts to publish, as I'm sure it shows, but to be honest, despite the appeal of Tsubasa otherwise, there's only so much angst I can take – and to be honest I think that Sakura is rather heavily underrated in the brains department, feathers or not, even if she can be a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. I don't think she'd be with something this important to her, though._


	2. Follow Through

_Well, folks. It took a year, but I managed to do it._

_Why the delay, you ask?_

_Well, simple enough - I lost a huge amount of inspiration when the manga suddenly decided to take the turn that it did. No editorial here, but it really took the wind out of my sails and kind of crushed my enthusiasm for Tsubasa - and considering the weird themes I tend to cling to (usually mutilating canon in my head six ways to Sunday), that's quite a feat._

_Nevertheless, my non-canon interpretation needs some closure, I think. And although Naive was only supposed to be a one-shot, well, here's another one-shot following it._

----

It was difficult to think at a time like this. It wasn't the fact that Sakura and Syaoran were aboard a space station - that being surreal in and of itself, it might have distracted them, but that wasn't why. It wasn't the fact that they were under attack - they'd been under attack more times than they could count. It wasn't the fact that Fai and Kurogane were out there, trying to take down the advancing soldiers through the massive station-colony and the planet below - they worried about their friends, for certain, but that wasn't it.

Rather, it was the incredibly loud POUNDING of mortar shells and antimatter weaponry against the shields of the facility. Though being in space there should have been no sound, the loud rattling of the shield generators as they absorbed impact after devastating impact tore through the entire section of the complex they were in. Fortunately it was secure from invading troops - it was some distance from the boarding parties... at least for now. Syaoran had stayed behind with the princess and Mokona; the girl had sustained a rather painful energy weapon injury to one of her legs, and though the miracle medicine the natives seemed to use was managing to heal her in a matter of hours instead of weeks, she was still relatively immobile as the others tried to help their hosts and at the same time retrieve the feather from the boarders - if they could do it without getting killed.

Considering there had been no communication whatsoever from Bravo team, the group Kurogane and Fai were with, for nearly two hours, it was looking increasingly likely that that was just what had happened.

Syaoran, of course, being the brave yet sometimes oh-so-stupid-for-an-archaeological-prodigy fellow that he was, took it upon himself to begin preparing for what he viewed as inevitable - having to intercede whether or not Fai and Kurogane had their heads attached to their shoulders or not. After all, the simple fact of the matter is, Sakura needed that feather. He convinced himself of this without much protest from his inner voice as he secured Hein against his back, donning some of the odd armor that so resembled the substance called "plastic" on so many worlds, yet seemed to be harder than any metal armor he'd seen, even some of the enchanted ones.

However, he did not anticipate that he might have to justify this to someone other than himself. Especially since Sakura had been sedated and was still unconscious --

"You're going out there."

Sakura. Standing in the doorway of the little office he'd been using as a staging room in the station's medical center. She looked slightly pale, despite the fact that she was walking - a marked improvement over how she was before, that's for certain. Her hair was a bit of a mess, bedraggled and limp; were she caught in a downpour, she'd definitely look the part of having walked home without an umbrella. The expression on her face was somewhere between that of a girlfriend who was about to pound some sense into her lover to prevent them from bungee jumping with a cord three feet too long (which they'd actually come across on their travels - not the brightest world, that one) and a mother who'd found her son's hand in the cookie jar, if a cookie can be considered charging headlong into battle with a 90 percent plus chance of death and/or mutilation. Her clothing upon arriving had been partially wrecked; the natives insisted she change into something called a "hospital gown". He'd never heard of it but somehow it seemed to make sense, covering one's modesty yet being convenient and easy to put on and remove as the staff needed... not to mention being a bit... revealing.

Syaoran's thoughts quickly raced. Two immediately came to mind.

The first was that if he found out who marked the sedatives in four hour doses, he was going to give them a swift kick in the ass, seeing as how he still planned on having 30 minutes yet.

The second was that he didn't think she'd ever looked more beautiful in her entire life.

He mentally smacked himself for that one.

"Kurogane and Fai are out there," Syaoran said, looking away from the princess, both unable to look at those emerald eyes that seemed to be drilling straight into his soul, and not particularly wanting to get a glimpse part of the princess he wasn't supposed to (mentally repeating the litany of him being a commoner and her being royalty and as close to a goddess as he thought he'd ever seen - not that it ever helped him wanting to take a gander at her, and quite a bit more...).

"You're going out there." Sakura said, trying desperately not to show how much she was hurting - and how utterly scared she was, instead letting her frustration over the situation bleed over to apparent (and now beginning to grow genuine) anger.

"That's what I was planning, Prin -- "

"SAKURA." Sakura huffed, just a little bit edgier than Syaoran had anticipated. He could still read his childhood friend like a book, memories or not, and he had a feeling that he was about to get treated to the trait that he was told she'd inherited from her mother, one that he very rarely saw, but when it was released it was terrible indeed, perhaps more terrible than any power contained in any feather.

Red Head Anger.

For a split second, Syaoran's courage fled him and he considered groveling for forgiveness, and promising not to go out there with a litany of 'yes, ma'am's and 'I'm sorry, ma'am's', and 'how would you like your tea, ma'am's.

However, his resolution grew firm. She needed that feather and to hell with the consequences.

He frowned a little. "PRINCESS," he said, emphasizing the title over the name - trying to put some distance between them. Even though it felt roughly like having his face dragged over broken glass to do it - he saw Sakura's eyes widen and a little bit of unmistakable, deep hurt creep up through her expression. It was for the best, he told himself, and it really was - or so he tried to convince himself, having little success.

"Kurogane and Fai are out there," Syaoran said matter-of-factly. It was true.

"How can you help them?" Sakura said slightly raggedly.

"Bravo team is --"

"At least fifteen kilometers from here," Sakura said. They'd learned just what a 'kilometer' and a 'mile' had meant in their travels - roughly a little shorter and longer than their own equivalent unit of distance respectively - and although they didn't know just how much that actually was, they both knew it was far. Very far. "They're using weapons that we can't possibly match easily. Even with OUR skills, with those kind of weapons there's too many of them! Maybe... maybe if it wasn't so far away, but just getting there we'd be tired out. If you want to help them we can come up with something, but charging off like THIS is... it's suicide." Her voice cracked with the slightest bit of fear, but her resolution remained firm otherwise - she'd had to learn how to put up a front when she was very young, and over the years, as most royals tend to be, she had gotten extremely good at it.

"I'm not going to just abandon them," Syaoran said quietly, firmly, looking perhaps the slightest bit disappointed in the princess.

"I'm NOT talking about abandoning them!" she exclaimed. "Just, we need to figure out something. Maybe... I don't know. Cause a distraction to get their forces occupied..." her mind raced; tactical genius she was not, and for the most part not much of a genius at all, but when pressed, that savant nature of her's kicked in, and if 'sharp as a tack' was smart, Sakura might well have reached nanofilament-based energy blade.

"They've got those transporters, right, and we know where the feather is in general, right?" Sakura's eyes lit up. "We could probably cause a distraction and make them think someone's trying to break in and get the feather. They're guarding it so well that they might route some of their guards and -- "

"That'd make it impossible to get the feather," Syaoran said firmly.

"If that's what it takes," Sakura said, with the slightest bit of an edge to her voice, eyes boring straight into Syaoran's with an intensity that almost made him turn away from their sheer power. "I can part with a few feathers here and there, Syaoran. I can deal with never finding out why I dropped a bowl full of bread dough when I was learning to bake when I was eight." One of her recent memories. She was glad to have it, but if it was the difference between Syaoran going out there and getting killed or not, she'd dump it - and a lot of other memories - in a heartbeat without a second thought.

Unfortunately, she likely didn't quite realize that it was a particularly bad idea to bring up THAT memory, as, as Syaoran would have told her if he didn't know she was going to keel over from it, it was he who ended up causing the dough to splatter, the bowl shattering on the ground. It was a stupid mistake, really, slipping on the floor that had just been waxed, the pair ending up in a nice awkward position (which wasn't so awkward given that they were eight years old but now would result in lots of blushing and stuttering and wishing it hadn't ended quite so soon). Though he'd practically groveled for forgiveness, she giggled and forgave him and they'd both ended up laughing over it.

He wasn't laughing now.

His fist clenched slightly. He knew... knew deep within him that she would never remember who he was. But for his princess, he would do his absolute best to get every last memory scrap that he could find so he was the only loss. That way, when all was said and done and he slinked off to another country to grieve for the love of theirs that never was (except for him it was very real, not that he'd let himself admit it), he'd truly have done all he could for the princess - something he owed her, not merely because of her status and because of his personal affection for her (though both combined, and the latter by itself, would justify all of this on it's own)... but for another reason.

He had helped dig up that damned temple. It was, in a way, his fault that she stepped on that seal and had the pieces of her soul ripped out of her, her memories scattering to the four winds. He had shattered her like the most precious of stained glass, and it was his duty to put it together again, no matter how much his hands were cut, or how much pain it caused...

...or even if he bled to death in the attempt.

That it was as much back together again that he could possibly put together... that's all that mattered. Surviving would be a bonus prize.

And of course, there was always that hopeful little bit in the corner of his mind that maybe, just maybe, Yuuko had a heart and threw him a bone...

"You have no idea of what's in those memories, Princess." Syaoran said softly, looking away and adjusting Hein on his back once again, still as determined as ever to head out.

"And are they more valuable than you?"

"That's for you to decide, Princess, and I think YOU should have that opportunity, not anyone else."

Sakura's scowl deepened as she looked over Syaoran carefully... but inside, something occur ed to her, and part of her cracked the barest of smiles, unable to help itself. Perhaps she could convince him to stick around... and test a theory of her's.

"My decision or not, a life is an INCREDIBLE price to pay for a few memories, so you've got to have some idea of what's in them..." she trailed off. "Don't you?"

The $20,000 question. Dumped on Syaoran's lap, at perhaps the worst possible time.

To say the least, that shut him up. The two of them stared at one another for several seconds.

"I don't, Princess, but I --"

"Don't lie to me."

The awkward silence stretched, as will met against will, both desperate to do their best for their best friend, their lover-to-be if they were lucky, yet struggling in what they thought was a ridiculous level of self-sacrifice.

"You know, Syaoran. And I know you know. And I know, KNOW there's a good reason for why you're doing what you're doing, but --"

And of course, around that time, their enemies decided that some antimatter charges were desperately needed. Five or six of them smashed against the shields, preventing any real harm from coming about, but shook the entire compartment and echoed with a deafening roar for several seconds. Sakura almost stumbled, but Syaoran moved across the room to grab her, keeping her from falling over and cracking her head open, pushing her up against the wall - and himself - preventing the shaking from knocking them to the ground.

The lights flickered as the shaking ended, and the two were... extremely close.

Sakura looked right into Syaoran's eyes. Syaoran looked right back. The princess saw the conflicting emotions - the awe of the girl in front of her, the HOPE that somehow, SOMEHOW Yuuko's price had been refunded, and the stoicism of the knight and the hero inside, intending on rescuing her, his happiness, life, and if need be very soul be damned. The archaeologist, who was less than adept at interpreting the look in one's eyes, the subtle, almost invisible changes in the muscles around them, the dilation and size of the iris, the ebb and flow of the almost invisible moisture that always clings to them, nevertheless saw through it - the hope, the anger, the... love... in Sakura's own eyes as she looked at him.

They stared for a moment, an hour, a day - they couldn't tell, really. Communicating without words, breathing each other's breath, caught in rapture and horror at the situation at the same time. So close, yet so far... as though they were separated by glass. They could see the other, see the other TRYING to get through, but to no avail. His eyes very very slowly flicked to her lips, and with an almost unmistakable movement of his head, she realized that he was going to --

Another massive tremor from another barrage of energy torpedoes ripped through with another deafening roar.

-- have this moment broken up. The tenderness in his eyes were gone, replaced with hard, pragmatic steel. He was no longer Syaoran the boy who fell in love with someone above his station, yet would somehow make things work out - he was Syaoran the warrior, Syaoran the knight, Syaoran the guilty. And he had a mission to perform for his princess and lady.

"I have to go." he said solidly as he helped her to her feet, took one last look at her, and began to shuffle out of the small office, Hein at his back.

Leaving Sakura, needless to say, flabbergasted.

"DAMN IT, SYAORAN!" Sakura burst out, her use of the mild profanity shocking the both of them out of their thoughts. Syaoran couldn't count the number of times she actually swore out loud around him - because he honestly couldn't recall it happening once. He actually turned back towards her, his resolution shattered for a second as he suddenly realized the intensity of her emotions.

"I don't know WHY nobody is talking about it, but I KNOW that you know a very BIG something about my memories, and it HAS TO DO WITH YO -- "

As Syaoran's eyes widened at this little outburst (which obviously had been long in coming - suddenly his mind flashed back to that hotel a few months ago, that little note she'd written to herself... she'd acted a little stranger since then... he wasn't sure why, but he suspected...) Sakura's eyes were widening as well.

**Oh no.**

Memories started flashing into her mind. Sakura and Syaoran playing around when they were kids. Sakura and Syaoran, after a fire'd broken out in the palace, the boy tackling her in a hug when he knew she was safe. Sakura and Syaoran, in one of the royal gardens, pulling apart some fruit or another. Sakura and Syaoran, Sakura and Syaoran...

This, of course, she knew, on some instinctual level... meant that she had approximately half a second of consciousness left before her memory blanked once again.

Her head suddenly felt as though a grenade had gone off in it, the lights in the room seemed to suddenly glow, colors changed, her vision swam, darkness began to tug on the edges of her vision. An irresistible wave of sleepiness came over her. Normally, she would fight, and would fail. However, there was one thing that Yuuko never calculated for in this self-erasure...

A redheaded temper, Syaoran about to go do something boneheaded, and nearly a year wandering dimensions of the girl knowing-but-not-knowing just how important the boy before her was - and having actually mentally figured out how to articulate it with the help of a scrap of paper and pen.

The princess felt gravity summoning her, sending her down, down to the ground - she wouldn't even feel the impact, she'd be unconscious before she hit --

-- unless her arms spread out and CAUGHT herself on a nearby table, which, of all things, probably surprised Syaoran the most so far, as he moved to try to catch her - now his face a few inches away from her. Her breathing was pained, as though she were fighting something deep within her, and for the moment, keeping it at bay, and the sheer feral look in her eyes actually caused Syaoran to look away for a split second at their intensity.

It was as though her entire form had suddenly become a statement to whatever had deprived her of her memories and caused her all this tourment. A single statement, consisting of three words, spoken with the force of her entire soul, with the strength of every feather torn from her all speaking as though a single chorus crying out, no matter where they were in the cosmos, no matter whether they would ever return to their mistress, all in unison for one simple phrase.

**Not this time.**

She stared at him. Agony was in her eyes - he didn't need to have much skill to tell THAT. But also, determination. Pure determination... and ANGER.

"...SIT... YOUR... ASS... THE... FUCK... DOWN." Sakura COMMANDED with every bit of feminine instinct, regal blood and royal training within her, and Syaoran obeyed without even thinking, dropping to the floor, despite the lack of niceities such as a chair.

And that's when Sakura did as well. Syaoran snapped out of his automatic response to Sakura's demands, sliding across the floor to catch her as she fell to keep her from hitting her head on the ground or on a nearby cabinet. The raw emotion betrayed in every mannerism, every word, shook him to the core. What surprised him most of all, however, was the fact...

That she was CONSCIOUS.

She reached her hand up to grab at his garment desperately, dragging herself up. She nearly spasmed from the agony; her head felt as though someone had put an assault rifle against it and emptied the clip, and the fact that her brain would be so many bloody chunks of wall paint at that point had somehow been omitted from the pain calculation equation.

But she held on. She writhed a bit, feeling as though she was about to go into a seizure, but through sheer force of will she stayed together. Her angry facade crumbled; it was no longer Sakura, the angry princess who was making sure Syaoran wasn't going to do something stupid... it was Sakura, the scared girl, desperately in love with Syaoran, and running out of time. She couldn't hold on forever.

"...I know, Syaoran." she whispered out, hoarsely.

"Princess -- " Syaoran said.

"SAKURA, DAMMIT!" Sakura's internal censor had apparently stepped out for lunch. However, neither seemed to mind. She continued, her voice suddenly sounding as though she was babbling - and she almost was. "I know. I know you were there, I know you were my best friend, I figured it out, I don't know why I can't remember but I'm not going to let you go do that goddamn stupid thing because I'm in love with you goddammit Syaoran and I probably won't remember this when I wake up but it doesn't matter if I **NEVER REMEMBER CLOW AGAIN IF YOU'RE DEAD I WANT YOU NOT SOME DAMN MEMORIES!**"

"...Sakura..." Syaoran just stared at the quavering lump of princess in his arms. Something had happened. Something somewhere along the worlds they'd been crossing. A thousand moments, a million little, tiny exchanges. He cursed himself. He should have noticed, especially in the past few weeks. How could he have thought she was that naive?... no, stupid, Syaoran thought. She's naive, not stupid, he chastised himself... perhaps, though, he's the stupid one.

Syaoran's internal reverie did not, however, plug the floodgates of the girl who, in lieu of her best friend going through hell for her and probably dying in the attempt, was going through hell herself and desparately fighting against the gaps in her own mind, and whatever being or entity wanted so desparately for those gaps to stay there.

"I've known it for a long time and hell I suspected it when I first woke up but I don't know and it doesn't matter just PROMISE ME YOU WON'T GO AND YOU'LL STOP TAKING STUPID RISKS FOR MY FEATHERS!" She was sobbing, both from the utter agony she was in, and sheer DESPERATION. She was running out of time and Syaoran HAD TO KNOW.

"...I..."

_**"PROMISE ME SYAORAN!"**_

Syaoran stared at her. In reality only a scant three or four seconds passed, but they almost felt like minutes. Syaoran's nobler side went to war with his softer side in that time. Noble to a fault, thought one; he must right what's wrong for his lady and return her, damn the consequences to him. Kind to a fault; she's sobbing in his lap, begging him not to go, he thought.

Every time, the noble side won...

But not this time.

A faint smile crossed his lips as he remembered...

----

He was no longer a teenager, rather twelve years old. She was the same, in the garden, sitting on some steps. They were alone, save for a few guards keeping watch; though Syaoran was considered quite trustworthy, despite Touya's constant ragging on the brat, one could never know when an errant assassin might try to take advantage of the princess being too young to defend herself, with only limited magical and martial training at her age.

"Your brother said that he was gonna end up marrying you off one day." Syaoran said, after a long silence - at least in his memory; it wasn't perfect, and he couldn't recall how they got onto the conversation, not that it mattered.

"He told me that, too." Sakura said, looking up at the sky.

"...that means you're gonna hafta go away, doesn't it?" Syaoran said, glancing up.

"...not if you're not coming." Sakura said, not looking back at him.

"Dad said that I couldn't come with you, if that happened." Syaoran said, perhaps a little dejectedly.

"Then I'm not goin'." Sakura said conversationally, lying back against the patio, watching as the dry desert sky whipped debris up overhead; they were in for a sandstorm soon.

"...you shouldn't hold yourself back for me, princess."

"Sa-KUUUU-ra." Sakura countered, smiling a little. She'd gotten used to the fact that it'd take her forever to get him to use her given name. "And it's not holding me back. Last thing I wanna do is just go off and get dumped in a big old castle 'cuz Touya decided I should." She knew it wasn't quite so simple as that - Touya would be absolutely certain to get her as good a life as he could - but that didn't mean that she didn't have a bit of resentment about it.

However, resentment or not, king or not, she was rather firm on this, and when she set her mind on something, that was that.

"I can't do that to ya, Pr... Sakura," Syaoran said, thinking he knew everything of marriages in royalty, imagining them to be similar to the marriage of the common folk. "You deserve... I dunno..."

"You." Sakura said flatly, never wavering her gaze.

Syaoran flicked his own eyes back towards the auburn-haired girl, the twinges of puberty beginning to factor into his relationship with his best friend.

"I'm just a commoner, Princess," Syaoran said.

"What'd you do without me, then?..." Sakura asked, somewhat seriously.

"I dunno, dig up ruins, fight those giant sand worms..." Syaoran said quietly, going into the broody mode Sakura so hated.

Now was no exception. "Then you can do it while working for me." Sakura said firmly. "I'm sure I can come up with plenty of interesting things for you to dig up."

A bit of a sigh from Syaoran. He shook his head. "Princess, I shouldn't --"

However, Sakura would have none of that, stopping him with a quick, pointed, yet kind stare, extending her pinky out after she interrupted. "Pinky swear."

In truth, Syaoran knew very little of royal marriages. And he most certainly knew nothing of the fact that so many were a sham, and both husband and wife were together more for show. However, the princess knew this; she'd been about the palace when other royal families were being entertained, of course, and quite often, she'd found, Her Majesty The Queen of insert-the-country-of-your-choice-here was finding herself in the company of the captain of the guard, or the royal treasurer, or a knight or even a bard, far more often than that of His Majesty The King, who himself often had a considerable amount of late-night "conversation" with a beautiful young handmaiden.

And if she had to move Heaven and Hell to do it, she'd make certain that wherever she ended up, the court would have a chief archaeologist.

Not that she was about to let HIM know that.

Syaoran blinked as he glanced towards the girl and the offered appendage. "...about what?"

"That you'll stay with me..." She paused. "And you won't make up stupid excuses NOT to stay with me even though you want to when you're all grumpy like you are now."

"I am NOT grumpy," Syaoran huffed, even if he knew she had him dead on. "And we haven't done a pinky swear since we were eight."

"And you haven't broken one yet, have you?..." Sakura inquired. Syaoran had to admit... she had a point there.

"Princesssss..." Syaoran chided.

"Sa-kuuuuuuu-ra..." Sakura parroted back, quite content to ignore his grumpiness; she'd take him broodiness and all. Her pinky was extended, and she looked at him expectantly.

He paused for a moment... before he sighed, and slipped out his finer to wrap around her's. "Alright, I pinkie swear."

Sakura's face lit up. "You'd better remember this, Syaoran, or I'm gonna..." she thought of what she could do. "...make sure you hafta unload EVERYTHING when I move!" There. A threat that would make him reconsider, imply that he was coming with her and going to STAY with her, yet not being too terrible - she couldn't even bear the thought of really hurting the boy she cared for so deeply, though she was far from above putting him to hard labor. After a second, she decided to tack on, "...and Touya said I could take the big statue in the courtyard if I wanted."

Syaoran's face blanched. "That's gotta weigh twenty tons!"

Sakura made a face. "Well, if you forget, you're gonna find out, mister!" Her visage broke into a grin as she stood. "C'mon, let's go out to the market before the sandstorm comes in."

Syaoran, of course, couldn't deny his princess anything... and dragged himself to his feet, unable to help but smile as he followed her through the hallway.

----

He never did break that vow, even though his self-sacrificing (and arguably self-destructive at times) instinct dictated otherwise.

He had no intention of doing so now.

"...pr... pro..." Sakura whimpered, tears leaking from her closed eyes. She oddly felt something wrap around her pinkie finger... only to find Syaoran's around it when she cracked them open.

"...pinkie swear." Syaoran said quietly. "I won't do anything else stupid for your feathers."

Silence. "...and you'll stay with me." Sakura demanded, breathing labored and ragged.

"And," Syaoran added, tightening the grip. "I'll stay with you 'til the day I drop dead, and after that you'll have to deal with me haunting you."

A bit of a sniffle. "...you'd better." Her limited recollection of her memories, that she'd forced herself to retain, even though she knew they'd soon slip away, came to her. "...or else you get to move the statue."

Even with his adventures behind him, that threat struck fear into him; no matter how many adventures he'd had, he still knew that elephantine construct of gold and marble was nothing to scoff at.

But if Sakura needed it, or even wanted it, he'd do it a hundred times over, never mind how many months he'd doubtlessly need to have his back magically healed bit by painful bit.

"Go ahead and pass out, Sakura." Syaoran said quietly, brushing some bangs out of her eyes.

"...stay with me 'til I wake up?..." she said, her voice getting a bit distant, her mind beginning to cloud.

"...pinkie swear on that, too." Syaoran added, running his fingers through her hair gently.

"...good."

With that, she let go. Her vision swam, and she felt the memories already being pried away as she was sucked into peaceful oblivion, eyes rolling back into her head as she went limp in Syaoran's grip.

----

It was quite a while before she came to - possibly over a day, she never found out. Eyes fluttering, she was...

Outside. The sky was far above them; clouds gathered, though the weather would likely remain fair. Dusk was setting in... and no sign of a space station anywhere.

She blinked as she glanced about. Syaoran was, fortunately, there -- somehow she knew he was supposed to be, not that he was often absent when she came to. In fact, his lap was currently serving as her pillow. Nevertheless... "...where?..."

Syaoran shuffled as he glanced down. With that, she noticed Fai and Kurogane sitting across from Syaoran, a campfire already started, and Mokona bouncing about next to Kurogane, singing a song he'd learned on a children's television program a few worlds ago. Kurogane accordingly was polishing his sword, constantly eyeing the not-so-affectionately-dubbed "meat bun" and likely wondering if he could somehow maim him without actually killing him.

"Hey," Syaoran said. "Look who's up. How you feeling?..."

"Like I got hit by every camel in the royal stables." Sakura groaned as she tried to sit up, before falling back. "What happened, what about..."

"The attack ended up failing." Fai said from across the fire, smiling that enigmatic, yet somehow kindly smile he so often had plastered on his face. He examined the fire as though it were of great interest. "It turns out that the feather had somehow been controlling the admiral of their fleet. Someone had..." He frowned a little, looking deeper into the fire, looking for the best way to put it.

Kurogane, of course, very quickly summarized it. "Tainted it." he said somewhat gruffly. "I'm sorry, Sakura, but I think it was too far gone for you to save it. We had to neutralize it to keep it from being a bloodbath." A pause as he looked at his sword once again. "Well, more of a bloodbath, anyway."

Just what they meant by 'neutralize', she didn't know, and for the moment she didn't want to know.

However, she noticed something. Something touching her, rubbing through her hair... Syaoran's fingers.

Never before had he actually done something like that, almost always keeping a 'proper' distance, even when she wanted him quite a bit closer than that. She closed her eyes a little, wincing.

"You've been through the ringer, but you'll be alright, Sakura... you want somethin' to eat? It'll be done soon." Syaoran provided for the girl...

Who blinked her eyes wide open.

'SAKURA.'

Not 'Princess.'

Sakura.

She couldn't remember it clearly... hardly at all...

But she knew enough.

"Something happened up there, didn't it." she said quietly.

Syaoran hesitated for a moment... and diverted his eyes. "...yeah." he admitted quietly, the others going into their own conversation to let the two have a moment 'alone'; privacy without privacy was something the little group had grown accustomed to.

"And that's why I woke up here." Sakura concluded.

Syaoran nodded.

"...and why you called me Sakura."

Another nod.

Syaoran looked down towards Sakura's face... only to see her eyes closed. For a moment, he was concerned she'd passed out again, until she spoke.

"Say it again."

Syaoran blinked. "Sakura?..."

"Yeah..." she sighed, as though for the moment, all her cares had washed away.

Her finger twitched just a little bit as she thought of something. It was so vague she couldn't make it out fully, but somehow, she just KNEW what she should say.

"...and whatever you promised me... you know what the penalty is for breaking a pinky swear." The words didn't quite make sense to her logically but on some instinctive level they made perfect sense, and gave Syaoran enough pause for her to know she'd hit something important.

"I do, Pr-- Sakura," Syaoran corrected herself, Sakura smiling a little at that. He was going to need to get used to that. He slipped his arms underneath her, pulling her up a little - and holding her a little bit closer than he probably needed to to support her, which she helped by snuggling up against him.

"You know..." Syaoran ventured playfully, careful not to cross the line to knock her out once more - he seriously doubted twice in a row, especially the first being of that sheer intensity, would be good for the Princess's health. "...you've got a really foul mouth when you're pissed."

Sakura simply flicked her eyes away, blushing a bit at her uncouthness, but couldn't supress the smile tugging at the edges of her mouth.

----

And on that night, somewhere, Yuuko grumbled, the girl having outsmarted her at her own game. She had the final feather, twice as large as any of the others and many times more powerful, containing Syaoran's memories, as a consolation prize, what she really wanted out of this anyway; however, thanks to the bruising of her pride, she couldn't help but feel a bit cheated that the teenager had found a way around it.

And somewhere else, Fei Wong brooded, the loss of a corrupted feather having put his plans that much further back. Though in his dark heart, he took small comfort over the fact that he'd proven that the feather corruption had worked, and he could make it work again. His plans, so he surmised, would come to fruition yet.

And on yet another plane of existence, Yukito poured over ancient scrolls long after the sun had gone down, other royal mages working with him. Touya impatiently paced in the background, as he often did, sending one glance after another towards the wizards, trying to piece together prophecies, knowing full well that over time they'd learned that the stakes were far higher than they could ever have imagined, and with every revelation, seemed to continue to climb.

But on another plane of existence, with a "meat bun" currently being chased after by an irate ninja, and an enigmatic wizard watching over the entire camp, there was peace. However, despite the tranquility, there was wreckage. Shattered, splintered, utterly destroyed as though someone had taken the mightiest sledgehammer to it and bludgeoned it into scraps and dust. It was not, however, the wreckage of a plane, or an unfortunate human, or a castle, or in truth anything quite so literal...

Rather, it was the wreckage of a glass wall, non-physical yet somehow no less terrifyingly real, trying to thwart destiny, finally shattered by the determined pounding of the two it separated, with one laying in the other's arms.

----

_Is it possible to be poisoned by your own sap? Probably! Nevertheless, all things considered it kind of deserved a super-mushy ending. Tsubasa in general probably does, in fact, unless of course you're hoping for an angsty ending, which seems more likely at this point._

_I do wonder if Sakura's in character for some of this - this certainly isn't her demure, reserved, uber-kind self. Then again, she was under incredible pressure - and arguably has been ever since this started - and she reacted accordingly (like a real person, no less)._

_Nevertheless, hopefully this was worthwhile. I may add more chapters in the future - if I do, they may be continuations, but they may also be alternate outcomes to chapter 1. Criticism, comments, and threats to steal my kidneys and leave me in a tub of ice water in a run down hotel can be directed to reviews. Thanks for reading!_


End file.
